on being sad.

I haven't written since that fateful day in which the world crumbled.

I'd be lying if I said that I don't think about it everyday.

I feel much, much better than I did. I know that was the right decision for me and my children. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. However, it doesn't make it easier.

Every day is getting better. Every day is getting easier. But there are days where it still knocks me down, and makes me wonder "why".

But honestly, given the chance...I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't take that situation back if you told me it'd be better...even if you guaranteed it.

I'm still sad though. And I think I'm entitled to that.

I've been going through some preterm labor nonsense. And that doesn't help my mood any more either. And my mood doesn't help the fact I'm having contractions.

The uncertainties, the unknowns, the physical pains, the emotional pains.

Sometimes it's all too much. 

But when I wake up in the morning, it's slowly starting to feel better...it's slowly starting to make sense. 

I'm still okay.