I feel like I failed.
But I know deep inside I really didn't.
I feel like I was supposed to forgive him.
But I know can't.
I feel like maybe I could have forgiven him if it was just once.
But it really wasn't.
I feel scared that I'm doing this all alone again.
But I think I'm okay with that.
I feel worried about what people will say and think.
But that's the last thing I should be concerned about.
I feel like this is the best choice for myself and my children.
But it doesn't make it any less difficult.
I feel like this is my fault.
But I know inside of me it isn't.
I feel like I was supposed to stick it out with him and make it work.
But I know I am worth so much more than that.
I feel like me and my boys going to be okay.
No more 'buts'.
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You are worth so much more than that. You're amazing. You're boys are lucky to have such a loving mama.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are lucky to have a Mom that Loves Herself!
ReplyDeleteRemember that you are strong and you can do it. Anyone who judges you for doing what's best for your family is not worth your time.
ReplyDeleteIf you need support, I'm just a tweet away. Hugs!
Love you sweetie and you KNOW *I* understand.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing the right thing...by doing what's in your heart! The last thing you need is someone in your home, influencing your children in a negative manner. You do not want your boys to grow up seeing their mother being treated poorly or learning that this is the way to treat a woman. I think what you are doing shows how strong and smart you are! It will be hard to do as a single parent, but really, it's hard even when there are 2! We're all here cheering you on! And don't sweat the ugly things people say! These are your children and your responsibility! You get to decide what's best for you and them! Lots of love, hugs and prayers from Kansas!-Becky
ReplyDeleteAgreed with your "buts" and the other commenters. You and your boys deserve better, and they're lucky to have such a strong mama.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really like this. Very well put. There are plenty of women who feel this way or have felt this way at some point (including myself). Just by writing & admitting these things, it shows how strong you are. "No more 'buts'." Very good advice! I applaud you!
ReplyDeleteTrust me as a former single mom, you are going to be ok!! You can do this. As women we are always settling. Well, now you are a mom and you can't afford to settle for the sake of your kids. I wish I could say that being a single mom will be a piece a of cake but as you're finding out it isn't. There are good days, bad days and down right ugly days.
ReplyDeleteYou just have to pick yourself up and keep on moving forward. Surround yourself by people who are going to build you up and be there when you need them. Screw what all the haters and negative people have to say. They're not the ones who walked in your shoes. They can't judge you until they've been through what you've been through and even then their situation will still be different because they're not you!!
If anything, I learned that blogging and keeping it real helps. I've received more support from the absolute strangers I write to just about everyday than I've received from some of my family and so called friends in years!! You are strong enough to do this.